Monday, December 7, 2015
Way of the Rose ...my first anniversary....
Way of the Rose...my first anniversary December 12, 2015
If you don't think that there is a Hand behind all of us being on the Way, then we disagree.How does a life long Catholic come to be praying the rosary for a full year after having considered it irrelevant for most of her life? How is she brought here, a Yankee from NY by a Buddhist from Alabama ?
I hope to celebrate my 1st anniversary on December 12th with some brief comments here.In this year, my heart learned something :I should treat all people, even people like the drunk next to me, as if they were my sons.This was whispered to me when I wasn't paying much attention on a flight from Europe.Nothing has changed my thinking like the soft voice giving me this truth.
When I prayed to know what to do with my love of writing, I found myself leading a class, sharing that love.What a blessing; and after struggling with the idea for seven years, it happened.And the class will held again in the Spring.
When beginning to pray the mystery of the Annunciation one day, a scene unfolded in my mind as if I was viewing it on a movie screen.My father coming in the door with a sponsor, announcing his pledge to stop drinking with the help of A.A.I felt joy in this scene. This must have been God's will that didn't happen then, when I was young.The child in my heart rejoiced at the surety of this declaration as if it really happened.Healing.
My niece and I joined the Woodstock rosary group one evening last summer,and after that we have been speaking weekly on the phone since we can't meet with a group because of distance.A singular blessing.
All of these revelations were given from Mary's hand.
There have been challenges.I was raised Catholic but left in my early twenties when I decided that I believed nothing of the things I was told.I never saw prayer work and so I took myself across a bridge(over the Belt Parkway,Queens) to a new life, liberated, I thought.A few years later, I felt a weight of emptiness and threw a prayer of dubious fervor skyward.Then things began to happen and I had a background, a faith tree to hang the God moment ornaments on.I have been doing it ever since with gratitude.
When I went through a terrible time of crisis in 1980, a young priest walked with me giving me total acceptance. We got through it together.When I entered a dark place of no path through the woods of mid-life, flailing like a rudderless ship, Confession helped me back.The gross behavior of some clergy has nauseated me beyond telling and I have felt shame.But the Church is my home and when criticized it as if someone walked into my house and told me how ugly my home is.My home is me and so is my Church but we all must be free to say our truth.
I know that all here are coming from very different places.Some have been very wounded by the Church and it is easier for me to love it since I have not been hurt in that way. And, Perdita, you will especially love this:the other day at Mass I was treated by a priest in a way that made me feel like a child.I just knew he wouldn't have treated my husband that way.After Mass, I told him what I think he needed to know.Who is this crazed grey haired lady speaking up for herself?
Finally, I will close with a heart full of gratitude.I loved gathering that night in Woodstock with the arms of the Way group open and accepting.More than you know, I appreciate what is shared here.The early Church must have been like this, clinging to each other's wisdom. What Mary tells you, helps me and it is supposed to.We are on a raft together in a churning sea with danger on all sides but when we hold hands like this, she is smiling and riding the waves with us.I believe this.Mary, Star of the Sea, pray for us.