the very thin veil

 

Dear John,

 I got your message. It took awhile but I figured it out.

 Last night I had a dream if you can call it that. It had been a lonely day as many are. What occurred had never happened before and I found it so strange. Persistently, this thought kept coming to mind each time I woke up which was often: "Luke 7:28." I had no idea what that passage was but it kept repeating over and over like a broken record. Luke 7:28.I memorized it because it seemed important. When I woke up, I forgot all about it. But I wasn't supposed to and it came back and I wrote it down. Now I needed to know what that was all about.

The verse reads : "I assure you , there is no man born of woman greater than John. Yet, the least born into the kingdom of  God is greater than he." Luke 7:28. I pondered that and then this occurred to me, how many verses in the thousands of the Bible speak of a John? What spiritual message did that passage have for me. Then I knew why that verse. 

And I also know that it is the first sentence that you were really sending, the one where you are the greatest because that is our joke. You used to say: "I was so gorgeous once". "Grahams are the greatest".etc.

"When we ourselves enter the eternal world and come to see our lives in full view, we may be surprised at the immense assistance and support with which our departed loved ones have accompanied every moment of our lives." John O'Donohue.

I will not be surprised at all.

you'll never walk alone

 Dear John,

 So many people have been at my side through these hard days, it would make you smile.

 At Mass, I sit in our pew, 7th from the front, and leave a space on the end. Our dear Jessica was there for weeks which was good for us both. One week I was alone and a lady who sits back a bit came up in her bright African garb and asked if she could sit with me. I will never forget the comfort of her.

How can I repay our pastor who came to the hospital at 2 A.M. to anoint you and who cut short his vacation to say the Mass for you in the woods in January. Or the two soldiers who stood near the altar during the Mass and then reverently folded our beautiful flag to present to me. Or your two sailor grandsons and our beautiful granddaughters who did the readings and the prayers of the faithful. All trail angels on this hard camino I did not choose.

 You were my trail angel that year in Spain on the Camino, carrying my bag, mailing stuff home, getting me to a dentist. Why would I think that your helping me had ended?

Last Sunday I almost skipped Mass. It was a hard week-end, our 55th wedding anniversary was that Friday. I was tired and I could have used the aged card,  the widow card or the watch on live stream card but something got me moving. I was joined by a dear, dear friend who knew exactly where to sit, on my right. We stood to sing the "Glory to God in the Highest" and I felt a nudge to focus, a second of pure joy, then I felt and heard this: "I am here."

"Walk on through the wind, walk on through the rain though your dreams be tossed and blown, walk on, walk on with hope in your heart and you'll never walk alone, you'll never walk alone." Amen.