have I done enough ?

When I left for the beach a week ago, I tried to give my small spindly plant, a crown of thorns, just the right amount of water without drowning it. This little plant means so much to me. It's a connection with my beloved youngest son. There is a story there but that is for another time. One morning at the beach I awoke thinking of that plant, going over what I did for it and wondered if it was enough.

  Do we, as Christians, not wonder that all the time; am I doing enough for the Kingdom?

A few years ago, John and I started taking a man in his 50s to church every Sunday. Robert was HIV positive and had suffered for 20 years with that disease. He had had a stroke and walking was very difficult, his vision was affected as well. He could see a bit. So, we struggled to find a handicapped space every week, help him from the car and often John took him to his doctor for treatments. He was so thin, gaunt really, and weak but each Sunday he waited for us. And on the way home we would have a laugh fest.He noticed things at Mass, not holy things, I am sorry to say. Like the lady whose shoes didn't match anything she wore.Or the haircut that looked bad. On he went and we couldn't help but enjoy him. He was holy and struggled mightily to be faithful to his Lord.And how he missed dancing.

He passed away and having no family here, the church was spare in people. As I sat there viewing his casket, I thought:  "I could have done so much more for him." Once, the people who invited him for Thanksgiving phoned and canceled his visit. He called us crying. We left our family and took him dinner.We should have brought him over. I should have called him more. When his PC wouldn't work, I should have been more patient. I was thinking this with my eyes closed when I saw this: he was above the casket, dancing and then he communicated this to me: "None of that matters now.No one thinks in those terms.All is perfect joy."

I think we worry about the wrong things. Just do as you are led. A smile can heal.A note can lift. And by the way, my little sweet plant is fine. I did enough.