Receiving many responses to my last post about my child hood, I feel that there is more to tell. My middle son, Kevin and I had a great chat about what I wrote that proved revealing to me as I followed the timeline of my life. His question was about how I managed to break the cycle of alcohol and abuse.
My mind went back to a day when I left God behind like a discarded sweater as I walked over the bridge that spanned the Belt Parkway in Queens.I was headed home from St.Clare's Church, liberated from ever going to church again by something the priest had said that was the last straw. He had asked that we pray for the conversion of the North Vietnamese and my mind rebelled.When had prayer every worked, much less this one ? I floated home, free.
Three years later, living in a posh condo in California, I woke up one day, with a chasm in my center that I could almost see. I knew what it was and said these words: "God , if you are there , help me." I wish I knew the exact day so I could cerebrate it but the year was 1971. Nothing happened at that moment but what happened after was quite stunning. The way I was gently led to books and people whose words became a lifeline back to the One who loved me first.Words in a book from the library. I thought it was a love story but was actual the conversion story of St.Augustine. How had that book come to my hand ?.Hundreds of years later, his words stirred my heart. And on it went.
So my answer to the question is the Japanese art of kintsugi. The art of repairing and sealing the broken pieces of pottery, cups and bowls with gold.
As time went on, I began to understand the most important thing that I would ever know, that I am loved. This, which is what each human needs, and are made for. It matters not who we are, who are flawed parents were, how we have been treated, how sinful we are, we are loved. We are His children and we are loved. I have heard those words in my heart and I know where those words came from.
And so the great Kintsugi Artist, has filled in my cracks, crevices, my sores, wounds, and lacks not with dust and resin but with streams of grace.
..Today's perfect reading:...."then you shall cry for help, and he will say: "Here I am."..Isaiah 58:9.
3 comments:
How each new story reveals your true essence with grateful grace! Life extraordinaire.
The art of Kintsugi was well created for us by our magnificent Lord and Savior.
Happy Valentine week!
How grateful all who know you are that you were open to invite the Master of Kintsugi into your heart. We are blessed by your openness and honesty. Thank you for sharing!
I probably have heard some version of this story at one time before, but each time I hear it, it reminds me of the way GOD led me back to Himself, too!!! yes, the art of Kintsugi is the art of the children of GOD, he heals our broken lives with the gold burnished in the fire of His LOVE!!! only those who have been healed in this way can see the art of GOD's majick!!!
Post a Comment