solitude demands........

"Solitude demands emptiness, an aimlessness, a going nowhere, a certain having ' nothing to do". This was the Merton quote from yesterday that struck me like a flash of bright light. Then I remembered.


  It was August 9th. 1999, when I left Jonesboro and headed to the mountains of North Carolina for a retreat. I arrived 6 hours later, grumpy after my car stalled twice on a hilly pass. I lugged my 13 books into a very hot room and there I was for the next 5 days. It didn't take long for me to realize that this was not to be an ordinary getaway. The Voice whispered: "Put the books away, just spend time with Me. If you were with your beloved, would you read or pay attention ?Pay attention. Yes.I could do this and it would be more restful. I wouldn't have to worry if this Beloved is having a good time, He is God, after all."

I stuck with that entreaty except for one lunch when I picked up a magazine.The words I read seemed so empty, the feeling of leaving the numinous was so profound, that I immediately put it down.I was gaining valuable perspective.

 I would like to share some of the precious words and urgings that I received in those few days. I wrote:
......sitting under a huge beech stroking a friendly black cat and this came:

 "If you don't spend time with Me, these are just words.You will not feel my comfort. It is for you(this prayer time)You need this time with Me.It is my gift."

"Walk with Me, be with Me.Ask daily for the desires of your heart to be fulfilled. I delight in showing you my love in the answers to these things.Ask,ask,ask. It fulfills our relationship and strengthens it.I have so much to give and you ask for so little.You thank Me for things but do you truly believe they come from Me? Know that they do."

There is so much more but I want to share this final thought that makes me sit back in wonder. I left the retreat on August 14, with my journal.I got caught up in my life and the words were forgotten.Were they?This was my final note." These revelations came:

-spend an hour a day with Me at home.( I started doing this a few months ago.10-11 A.M.)
-keep writing your poetry.(I now do haiku religiously.)
-pray for the desires of your heart and expect them to happen.(began this when I joined our rosary group 5 years ago)."

How did I happen to find these journal notes that showed me that what was asked has been done without my willing or remembering it ?We are never left alone.