She sits at my feet with her puzzle.It is a green felt dog puzzle of only 5 pieces because she is a little girl,not walking yet.Her feet are splayed in a way that I could never do and I think she must be double jointed and perhaps a future ballet star.She is focused on her puzzle and I pat my center where her baby brother lives for the moment.I am making her a dress on my sewing machine to pass the time.I am friendless and very lonely in this new city .The little pink and green sleeveless dress will fit her perfectly when finished and she will look like a blond doll.I still have that dress through moves all over the country.
She looks up as I sew and says ;"zuh,zuh,zuh."...:and it is a perfect match for the sound of the machine I am using.I laugh and she laughs and I wonder if her perfect pitch and mimicry will mean she will become a musician.
When her Dad comes home,we put on her cap and bathing suit and she gets taken to the pool where she jumps from the edge right into his arms in the water.May she hold that reckless confidence in herself and him.
Jessica is eleven now and for Mother's Day, she has me sobbing at the kitchen table.Her gift is a tape of Jermaine Jackson's song "Mother".The music plays as I hold her handwritten lyrics in my hand."Have I ever told you that you are my river?That never stops for a rest...have I thanked you for having our family...that I love you?Have I told you today?..."I still have that paper.
A senior in high school now is the blond ,lithe girl.Her cross country friend's mother is in the hospital with a terminal diagnosis.We visit and she brings her tape recorder.She gently puts the earphones on Martha's head and turns on the classical music that she so loves,that has touched her deeply.Martha closes her eyes and goes to another place ,taken there by my daughter.
The years tumble forward and the achievements pile up.Valedictorian at Brevard College,scholarships,Masters in Music.I stand in awe at all that has come from this girl ,from her own warm blood rich soul.Her own.
You know that I love the internet and especially Facebook.How this vehicle is used by the Spirit to bless us and unite us with old friends.This happened in 2010.A high school acquaintance of my daughter got in touch with her.This was her message:"I had to share something with you after all these years.I named my daughter after you.You were the absolute most sweet spirited person I knew in high school.I had hoped that my daughter would be as sweet as you -and years later she is such a sweet young lady with a heart for God.I thought you should know."-Donna