Saturday, April 6, 2013
Outside the eating area at the monastery is a covered porch that overlooks a lush garden.Trees,evergreen and deciduous ,surround the perimeter hiding the garden within.Here and there is a bench and statuary.The peace and Presence is such that this is where I wrote and wrote , prayed and listened on my two day stay.Today,I have a longing for Who I found there.My daughter,in trying to understand this asked if it was like the missing feeling you have when you spend time with a friend,become part of their lives and then leave.Yes,exactly.I left a friend and the missing feels like longing which it is.
It is the silence that is the gift of the monastery.You are taken care of while you walk, sit, write and in this solitude your soul is wide open to what God wants you to know.This is a place of pruning.Without distraction, you will be shown the small dark spots in your soul that keep the flood of God's love from gushing out to your world.
I don't like to be pruned.I see myself as a beautiful ,green flowering lilac bush that needs nothing but rain and sun to flourish.Blissfully spreading my lovely scent throughout the world;perfect in every way.I am content in this miscalculation.But I am not that.The lover of healthy trees knows how to prune and with a gentle hand.
There is a statue ,in this haven that was the garden,It was St.Joseph.He had lilies in one hand and the Christ child in the crook of his other arm and the child was holding a globe of the earth.This was a peaceful figure ,a gentle look on Joseph's face and I sat on a bench and meditated.St.Joseph is the patron of fathers and my pruning has involved my attitude toward my deceased father.With grace,I am making progress here.But that was not all:slowly the thought came as clear as a church bell:"Carry Christ". Carry Christ.
It will take the rest of my days to understand this.