looking for Thomas Merton.

It was a bright summer day. I remember every detail. Having been urged to faith by the words of the monk , Thomas Merton, I was on the way to a pilgrimage of sorts.Now living in Louisville, I would finally be able to see the Trappist monastery where he lived and wrote, Gethsemane.

This sentence he wrote in 1965 touches me again: "I come into solitude to die and love. I come here to be created by the Spirit of Christ."

John and I and our three young children wandered the grounds and visited the chapel. I have pictures of them tumbling down a small hill as we sauntered in the shade of old trees. A most pleasant day, as I looked for the spirit of the monk whose writings had lit a fire in me. Merton had died 5 years before in 1968.

Up a gravel path came a monk in denim with a sunshine smile of hello.Ah, here was a monk like my dear Merton.We can chat and talk of holy things.We walked and talked and I found him to be so honest, so likable.He was tall, slender and in his 40s and before long he shared this: "I don't know what I am doing here.I have lost my faith and want to leave." Oh, my.

He became our friend and would write beautiful notes to us. I loved his writing. He came for dinner a few times and later revealed he had fallen in love with a nurse and was due to leave.Soon we moved back to Georgia but kept in touch. I would send him an overtly religious Christmas card and he would offer a black and white card with birds.We continued this for years and, when
 I could, I shared my faith.

His last note , a few years back, brought tears to my eyes.It was just this, part of a famous poem:

                                         "I fled Him down the nights and down the days,
                                         ..I hid from Him..........still with unhurrying pace came 
                                                the following Feet and a Voice, 
                                                 'Rise, clasp My hand and come.'

                                            'The Hound of Heaven by Francis Thompson...