Monday, May 7, 2018

You, who took me in....




It didn't make any sense, last night's dream. But........

I am in my childhood house on Long Island; I am a prisoner, kept there by force and being starved to death. No food allowed. I am wasting away and desperate. Suddenly, an opening to escape appears and I run out the front door.I can see it as I go into the yard.;this heavy oak door that had deep gashes on the inside from the scratching of a dog that I loved .

Through the yard to a neighbor's back door, knocking frantically and finally a young person lets me in."Please don't let them know I am here, tell them you haven't seen me.".Yes, he nods and I am safe. And in a quiet voice I ask for an Ensure to keep me alive.

Most of the dreams that I remember, the vivid, like "a movie on a screen" ones, I understand immediately. This one? Later, after prayers, something tells me to open my last journal and read the words I have been given.I drink in the notes for November 2nd, 2017. As I read and ponder, my mind expands to hold the real meaning and I get misty with gratitude.

I am starving in that house on Webster St.We all are. For love. For a word of affirmation, a kind thought about something we have done.We don't speak that language, we don't know it exists.We know sarcasm, we make small cuts with it rather than risk the truth.

The young person letting me in without question or judgment is Christ who has been waiting for me to be brave enough to reach out. I recall the exact moment though not the date.We , my small family and I, are living in California in the 70s and I am feeling a dreadful emptiness, I silently say these words; "God if you are there, help me."Nothing happened, I felt some relief at having done something but now I see that this was my mad dash to His back door.

Soon after, I casually picked up a book for a friend and it spoke of His love.A library book that I had thought was a love story turned out to be about the conversion of St.Augustine. It enchanted me. Co-incidences piled up that made and still make my head spin.

Here are the sunshine filled, gold dusted words that I received on November 2nd from the Hand that took me in::

"The stars tell of the distance from Me.Your heart and it's co-incidences tell of My nearness. Ever and ever believe in these small , inexplicable moments that come like the dew to point out the closeness of My heart to yours."

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