I don't recall what triggered the hard day when this next nudge occurred. A memory? A mug? a bird call? Curled in a ball on my bed, I heard this: "Read my letters from Honduras." I remember thinking how could anything that reminds me of you help in this empty, desolate place ? But then I thought, could I feel any worse?
In 2001, John went to Honduras to pick coffee beans and work in the fields like the poor of that country. Having made a few short mission trips there, he wanted to experience the life of the people he had come to love. He was gone for a month and wrote home often. Not every letter came to my hand which I regret but I did received a few.
01-11-01 I have a bathroom of my own which I did not expect and I don't have electricity which I did not expect either. I started reading Henri Nouwen's "Gracias" by three candles, just like Abe Lincoln.I have been reading my readings each day and have felt better about being here because of that.
01-23-01 In Jutigalpa yesterday I managed to get a shoe shine, mail a letter, buy an ice cream cone and have a pizza all without speaking Spanish. I felt pretty good about that.
01-26-01 I'm sick again. I think my liver may have fallen out this morning. The food has been a challenge. I feel like my body is trying to reject my stomach. Get that meat loaf recipe dusted off, bake a potato and broccoli and get some bread. Wheat, white , bread , bread, BREAD! ,
....I'll walk down the street and post this letter , then come back and be with Fr. Tim ( the Jan Karon series that John started reading that begins with "At Home in Mitford). for awhile. That will be enjoyable. You taught me that. Thank you.
02-31-01 I did hug Jose Antonio and I held and rubbed the back of a young handicapped girl, Claudine. As I rubbed her twisted back, her twisted hand started to rub mine.
....and then this: "I feel very alone and incapable without you. If you were to die before me, I am sure I'd be right behind you.as there really would be no reason to do anything without you to share it with."
I understand completely. Reading these did comfort me. I love you, John Graham.
2 comments:
Such a beautiful love story. Thank you for sharing it with us.
Ah! so beautiful! what a wonderful comfort to hear his voice again in his letters.... and his ending sentiment of you going before him.... no words... just beautiful xx
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