Nudges, part one

  

 One of my children experienced something so profound that it is difficult to talk about it. She was alone crying and devastated at my house when she heard her Dad tell her this in so many words: "I am trying to send my love through memories, thoughts and people and if you are feeling sad or feeling regrets then you are missing the point. "She knew that he was telling her that this was the only way he could send his love now that he was no longer here. Since she has shared that I have tried to be open to whatever is being offered. 

I share with you what I have come to see as nudges.

Yesterday, I received an e-mail from a young man who is a friend of the family. His wife saw the posting about John's passing and he called. He is one of the few I have been able to talk to on the phone and I didn't do it well. He was part of the family for awhile and his voice betrayed his grief. Later in the day he sent an e-mail with an attachment to a Youtube video of a hymn "O Great Mystery." His last sentence was :"What I do know is that music connects us and is always there to lift us up."

 Immediately, I was nudged to remember a day 40 years ago when our family was coming back from great uncertainty. John and I were hiking Stone Mountain and a passerby's music caught my attention. It was "Woman" sung by John Lennon. For some reason, that day, the song lifted me although when I thought of it I couldn't recall any of the lyrics. I remember the good feeling of that day as if it were yesterday. I went to Youtube and found the song and as I listened to the words,  I knew. I love you, John Graham. 

                                                               Woman

    Woman, I can hardly express ..my mixed emotions at my thoughtlessness...after all I am forever in your debt

and Woman I will try to express my inner feelings and thankfulness....for showing me the meaning of 

success....Woman, I know you understand the little child inside the man...please remember my life is in your  

hands and Woman hold me close to your heart...however distant , don't keep us apart.....after all it is written in 

the stars....so let me tell you again and again. and again.... I love you now and forever....