for life

Last night, when I went bed, I was sure I had no new ideas for today's gratitude post. Then I remembered that these ideas aren't coming from me but to me so I just let go of the concern and slept.

It came in a dream.I felt the weight of it and was so  glad when I woke up.

John and I were in a convention of some kind and as we wandered, we came to the conclusion that we were both going to stop taking the drug, Tamoxifen, that was keeping us alive. It was more his idea than mine. The future ahead was one of slow disintegration. I felt so heavy and hopeless.Then I left my red purse in the ladies room, met three young women who were showing me their paint brushes and telling me that they were going to the Flint River Inn for a vacation , a gift from their Monsignor friend. I asked his name and they said, Monsignor Mahler. I burst into tears because that is my recently deceased cousin.The dream ended.

Before Mass yesterday, I went up to Mary's statue and handed her two Twitter friends who are atheists, but raised Catholic. I immediately heard this: "Make a list. Pray for those on the list. Peace." I did that in a different journal( I now have 4 different ones going with different themes.) So, after the dream I added my cousin, Fr.Frank,  to three other names. I will be led to add other names somehow, like in that dream.

I awoke today with gratitude because we are alive, we have no life ending disease hanging over us. At our age, we are blessed beyond measure that this is the case. And I have another purpose, my list which I will visit daily and add to as led. All is mystery, all is grace, all is gratitude.