wisdom

                                          "It is better to be kind than right"

I have been dabbling in mindfulness a bit this summer. It seems to go along with what our writing group has been focusing on in the last few sessions. Paying attention. Don't let the little moments of beauty drift away unrecorded. Haiku, look at the simple small moments, pay attention .

  The book I have been reading is "Looking At Mindfulness,  twenty-five paintings to change the way you live."How perfect, since we use art to inspire our stories. I love the cover, it is a painting that I have seen before; " The Wanderer Above the Sea of Fog", By Friedrich. I am going slowly through the book but what I have gleaned so far is this: we can control our thoughts. It takes practice but there is a nanosecond between a stimulant and our reaction. And we can chose our reaction. I tried it at Mass on August 15th and it worked.

We have an organ in our small church. Don't ask why. When a certain musician plays the entire congregation stiffens. Teeth are grinding and chipping. To say the "music" is deafening would not do it justice. It is so bad that people head for the doors quickly when the final piece is played. That day, instead of grinding my teeth, I said to myself, "it's loud, nothing I can do" and I thought of something else.My husband began his usual ranting about it and I was elsewhere in my mind. Hooray for me.

But this is a practice and it must be done over and over. I know it works. In meditation or Centering Prayer you are always gently pulling your mind away from the constant flow of thoughts, back to either your breath or your sacred word. It is a discipline that teaches you that you have some control over where your mind will go. Powerful stuff.

The quote above was one I first saw on a plaque at a retreat house I used to go for peace. I recall bristling at the words knowing how attached I am to the right or correct thing. When I was a kid and we'd be playing kick ball in the street if someone tried to change the rules, I would go crazy. I needed, desperately needed, consistent rules to feel some order in my chaotic life.

My cousin told me a story that made all this very real for me. She was going on a cruise with her husband and his sister. They got an Uber lift from the airport in a rather snazzy car.The sister-in-law said: "Wow, I've never been in a Lexus." My cousin snapped: "This is a BMW." Boom, the trip was ruined. The two never spoke for the whole week. What adult likes to be corrected especially in front of others? Was my cousin trying to spare the feelings of the BMW? A nanosecond of thought would have kept that very correct but totally unnecessary remark in her mouth. How often have I done an unnecessary correction?

We have this promise:
         
"Turn your ear to wisdom, incline your heart to understanding.....like hidden treasures seek her out...then you will understand rectitude and justice, honesty, every good path...for wisdom will enter your heart, knowledge will please your soul, discretion will watch over you, understanding will guard you.."Proverbs Ch 2.