Last Christmas

  Last year we celebrated Christmas early because a traveling son would be here . So the day of the 19th we gathered. If anyone noticed the strange things that were happening, no one said. It was only later that we compared notes. Did John really say that? 

 At one point he insisted that a picture be taken just of the six of us, no in laws, no children. It is a perfect picture with faces smiling that perhaps will never be so bright. After dinner when we were cleaning up, John said we will never be together for Christmas again. Some were shocked and asked if either of us had received a bad health report, most of us shrugged our shoulders, Dad being Dad. Then one of the grands was told that John would be her angel. Strange doings here.

 I was mid way through the Glorious mysteries of the rosary that night when my son came running in to tell me that Dad had collapsed. And so it began. In two days the love of my life, the blond haired, green eyed, gorgeous boy I met at 14, would be gone...

 And yet I am writing to assure you that he has not left us. There is not one of us that hasn't been touched in some way by John since then: in a dream, a knowing, a song, a synchronicity, in a vision, a nudge, a guidance. His form has changed, the means are different but he is here. With us. 

When I was going through John's memories folder I found the round medal above. I don't know how he received it, I had never seen it before. The word my pastor used when he called, the word that hangs around my neck now. It was left for me to find when I needed it most.