Watching and waiting

 

Last Christmas season my niece sent a large glass bowl with stones and a gnarled dry dead looking bulb , an amaryllis. I followed the directions and by Christmas, there were two tall stalks with bright red flowers. For awhile they looked like aliens coming up from nothing. Watching them shoot out of the stones gave me pleasure last year, the year of loss. 

Last year I was invited to give a day long Advent retreat for the staff at church. At the time, my mind was filled with looking for kindnesses and being open to those who have left us, what they might have to say from their place. Little did I know that as Advent ended, I would need to cling to both for dear life.

This year, I received another box with two bulbs and a message that said: Thinking of you at this difficult time." My precious niece will never know how this touched me. I have three bulbs now in my kitchen, the old one and the two new that are lighter colored the box says, all waiting for the warmth of the sun. 

Kindness.

The watching and waiting on the bulbs to bloom reminded me of this season. What do these four weeks of Advent hold for me ? Why have I always loved them? Why did the love of my life leave during this season ?

I do know this: companions always come. This year St Teresa of Avila elbowed her way into my life through an offering at St Brigid's Church  in Australia where I visited my family. It was based on Teresa's sayings and the music of U2. What ? I attended two sessions and it was good to be with like minded new friends.

So far what I have learned from Teresa that holds the most meaning was inscribed for me on a birthday card from John in 2016. "Let nothing disturb you, let nothing frighten you, everything passes away , God alone remains."  

And this: " If one perseveres, I trust then in the mercy of God, who never fails to repay anyone who has taken Him for a friend." 

My God, my friend, thank you.