options, butterflies and me.

Right now, outside my window is a brown and blue butterfly who is spending time on my bare, well eaten rose bush. He flits and so does my mind with this word "options". I turn to Scripture and read what is below..It stiffens my spine.It tells me to keep going even if no one reads what I write. Keep going. Get the truth out there. Be my instrument.

"I will bless the Lord who counsels me; even in the night my heart exhorts me ."Ps 16:7.

Yes, this is what is happening. At night and in the early hours I am being exhorted. To listen and never think that my words are inadequate or unnecessary.

My journal scribbles from this morning mentions the option to be kind, thoughtful, interested, things I strive to do. Minutes later I failed badly.  I was writing a thank you note to my son when my husband came in to tell me about a friend at church who just offered to pick up another older friend and bring him to Mass each Sunday. I barely paid attention, trying to achieve my goal. As he left he said : "Tim, the man who volunteered, is a good man. I finished my note and realized that I had chosen another option rather than the kind one. Sigh. Words, is that all I produce?

I went into the room where my husband was making a list and told him this: "You have offered to do that same thing repeatedly, that makes you a good man."He smiled. It is often a struggle to recognize the best thing to do and then to follow through. In reading about mindfulness,I have discovered that one can learn to control thoughts; and that there is a nanosecond between a stimulant and your reaction where you, just you , can decide the best way. Lord, led me to that place more often.